I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
