Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
