Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
