so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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