The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
