do herpes really smell.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The struggles of a small town man whore
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
