I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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