My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
