Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
