You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
