Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
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You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
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But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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