Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
