i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
