She's JV to your varsity
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
