youre lurking in front of me
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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