U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
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I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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