Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
