dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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