Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Randomize
