At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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