I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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