fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
