Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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