I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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