Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
