I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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