Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
