Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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