your thong is hanging out like whoa
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
