Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
