She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't notice because vodka
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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