So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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