I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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