i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
