is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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