I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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