hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
