You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
