YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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