He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
