I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
