i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
