So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
