16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
