did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
