wrigley field is MILF paradise
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
