Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
