My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
