I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Randomize
