i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
