Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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