Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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