I must be too annoying 4 u.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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