How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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