But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
