What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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