we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
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Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
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we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Oh god it's open bar.
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