p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
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You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
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I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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