i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
