Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
